Imagine being in a situation where you are unable to make your own healthcare decisions — an accident, medical emergency, or sudden illness leaving you unable to communicate. It’s not something anyone wants to think about, but it is the reason we should all have an Advanced Healthcare Directive.
The Basics
Having an Advanced Healthcare Directive (AHD) document in place ensures your wishes are honored, should something happen. It’s your voice when you can’t speak for yourself.
More specifically, an Advanced Healthcare Directive is a legal document that outlines your healthcare wishes and authorizes someone else (someone you choose) to make decisions about your healthcare, if you are unable to do so. This person is often referred to as a healthcare proxy.
This individual will have the authority to ensure that your healthcare preferences are respected — whether it’s to withhold life-prolonging treatments or to follow other specific instructions you’ve outlined.
But choose carefully, because choosing the wrong person to act as your healthcare proxy could have serious consequences when it matters most.
Choose Carefully: A Real Life Nightmare
Years ago, when Oklahoman Lynne Chelsey was diagnosed with a degenerative disease, she signed a document stating she did not want to be kept alive by artificial means, that’s according to an article in the Wall Street Journal.
However, as the article explains, Chelsey’s chosen healthcare proxy did not honor her wishes — it ignited a family fight that would eventually be settled by a judge.
It took three years for the court battle to play out. Meanwhile, Chelsey was kept alive by a feeding tube. In 2024, the Oklahoma Supreme Court ruled and Chelsey’s wishes were honored. She died in August of 2024.
As tragic as her story is, it outlines the importance of choosing the right person to be your healthcare proxy. It also shows the importance of discussing your wishes with your family.
How to Choose a Healthcare Proxy
Here are some questions to consider when choosing a healthcare proxy.
- Do I trust this person to honor my wishes, no matter the circumstances?
Choosing a healthcare proxy means entrusting them with some of the most difficult decisions of your (and maybe their) life. Choose someone you can trust to respect your wishes, even if they’re faced with emotional pressure or conflicting opinions from other loved ones?
- Is this someone I can talk to about what I want when it comes to life support and end-of-life care so they will fully understand my wishes?
Clear communication is important! You want to choose someone who understands your values and beliefs, someone with whom you can speak openly and honestly about these decisions.
- Do they have emotional strength to honor your wishes in a high-stakes, highly emotional situation?
The role of a healthcare proxy is not just about making tough calls that honor your wishes — it’s about doing so with clarity and calmness. These decisions can be deeply emotional. Some people will struggle to carry through with hard decisions because they are so close and their own feelings will cloud their judgment. You want to choose someone who can manage this responsibility, even under stress, while navigating family dynamics, if there’s a disagreement. Sometimes the best choice is not the most obvious choice.
- Are they nearby and available when I need them most?
Logistics matter. Choosing someone who lives far away may delay important decisions in a medical emergency. Someone who lives close is likely going to be able to be present to make decisions promptly.
Do I Have To Choose A Family Member as my Healthcare Proxy?
No, you don’t. There are many options to consider.
First, you could choose a family member. A sibling, parent, cousin, etc. that you are close with is not always a bad idea.
However, it’s important to consider that choosing a family member could lead to family conflict.
As we saw in the earlier mentioned court case, disputes between loved ones regarding your care can lead to lengthy legal battles and undue emotional distress.
If you do decide to use a family member, it may be worth sitting down with them and other family members to openly discuss your wishes. It could also help the person you choose to have peace knowing other family members were aware of your wishes.
Another option would be to choose a friend or acquaintance whom you are comfortable discussing this type of topic with. Having someone who is not a family member could help to take the emotion out of the situation.
A third option would be to choose an impartial, third party, such as a religious leader or an attorney. These options could be a good choice if you feel like the risk of conflict is high within your family.
The key is to be thoughtful in your decision making to ensure that your wishes will be followed in the most peaceful way possible.
Ready to Get Your Advanced Healthcare Directive in Place?
While it’s obviously not a decision to take lightly, it is one that is important to make — the sooner the better.
Choosing a healthcare proxy now, while you are of sound mind to do so, can help you to go forward knowing that no matter what you have someone looking out for your best interests.
At Seda Law Firm, our attorneys are here to answer any questions you may and walk you though the process of getting your Advanced Healthcare Directive in place.
Don’t leave your healthcare to chance—ensure your future is in good hands.
Give us a call at 405-759-0678 to get started.